Learning to soar above life's storms
There were no options; peace unattainable-
I was surrounded by layers of brick;
Human ideas were not quite enough-
No alternative for me to pick.
Watching and waiting, I asked the hard questions,
Pushed through each layer till I saw the light;
I know in my heart some things are worth fighting for
And it takes time for day to replace the night.
© M.R.Patterson 2.2.23
I wondered if it was all over-
Worried sick that you were leaving.
I was wrong.
Beautiful little beating heart-
Perfectly forming limbs –
You go from strength to strength.
A surprise when I had only a tiny plan-
Your life brings us great joy.
We wait with gratitude…
Dear little beating heart.
© M.R.Patterson 26.1.23
I’m thinking of you now,
Wondering about your name-
Are you still here and breathing?
So blessed the day you came!
When will I see your face?
Will I journey with you?
Time marches on so fast;
I wonder if you were true;
An angel sent to me,
When my days were dark and grey-
I couldn’t bear it at all
If you have gone away;
I wait impatiently
Distracting myself till I know-
I’ll always be grateful for you,
Whether you stay or go.
©M. R. Patterson 9.12.22
Last Sunday I let out a scream bigger than the one when my son entered the world. Never in my life have I found a mouse in the washing! I asked my husband to help me carry the hamper outside, leaving the other one in the bath. Upon my request, he helped me to check each item of clothing thoroughly; I couldn’t bear to see that mouse again. Nothing was found and I was beginning to think that he felt I was ‘seeing things’. I cringed as I imagined the mouse running down the passageway at night (where I had left the clothes hampers for several days before placing them in the bath), squeezing through a hole in one of them and burrowing into the clothes. How did it get into the house? A couple of years ago when we had a mouse in the kitchen sink cupboard due to the smell of the worm farm scraps, we put aluminium foil in the back of the dishwasher where there was a gap; perhaps it had been displaced.
After my husband carried the clothes hamper inside, he noted Rosie the cat stalking a mouse near the back of the freezer. How could the mouse have gotten inside the house so soon after we carried it out? Unless…
The plot thickened when my daughter called out to me and informed me that her brother had found a tiny mouse out in the back yard and was guarding it. The one I had glimpsed was bigger than that, I remembered. Apart from being stunned, there was nothing wrong with this baby mouse. I trapped it in a soccer cone and my son ran to collect two sand play cups from the outdoor toy box, at my request. “Don’t kill it!”, he begged me. Casting my mind back 30 or so years, I could put myself in his shoes. Stray kittens in my grandparents’ garage, unfit to be given homes, had melted my heart and I pleaded with my parents in a similar way. Sensing he was distraught, I decided that catch and release was the best thing to do.
I must have looked so comical in the green dish gloves which I had forgotten to take off while inside the house. My son and I walked briskly towards a local park and stopped a few hundred metres shy of the entrance. Waiting to be rid of the mouse before it died of shock, I emptied the little baby into the long grass and we walked away.
We were due to go out for the afternoon so we set a trap “just in case” behind the freezer and I returned to the bathroom to retrieve a couple of washing items for soaking. I let out another scream. There was our stowaway, barely moving…in the bath where the washing hamper had been returned. Once again I called upon my husband to help- this time to put it out of its misery. All dealt with, we still wondered about Rosie’s find. Had it been the one that I found in the bath? I didn’t think so. Upon returning home, my thoughts were comfirmed.
As much as I appreciate the council’s efforts to minimise household waste with mini food scrap bins, I can’t help but wonder if it was the smell of rotting food we should have emptied the day before, that brought those germy critters inside again. I hadn’t seen a mouse since I had collected food scraps in a box, waiting to put them in a worm farm. I am pleased to report that we haven’t had any more tiny visitors this week and I have stopped holding my breath whenever I sort the clothes!
Have any small, unwelcome animal visitors entered your home before? Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments or add a link to your own post!
Tonight I tried to write a poem and all I could think of were the things I shouldn’t say. Sometimes it is in the process of writing from the heart that we realise how much pain we have stuffed down deep inside. Only when I wrote the unfiltered thoughts and discarded them could I find some more helpful things to say. I knew I couldn’t fool myself- the writing would be mechanical at best. Sometimes others try to tell us how to write and stifle our creativity. They think it is absolute arrogance that we should ignore their unhelpful opinions. It’s okay to offer suggestions, but when the words cripple our writing hand, I think they are best left unsaid. Usually I am accustomed to being a part of the writing that is given to family members as a gift, since I am known for my ability to compose a poem under time constraints. This time I bowed out gracefully, though it hurt. I am grateful for this blog- a chance to write and share my thoughts for those who are keen to read them. I will not be silenced by the ignorant or the unkind!
I fronted up to my first ballet class almost a week ago and it has taken me that long to recover! Who knew that I would be thrown in the deep end and trying to keep up with someone who started months ago!!! I started at the barre and pictured it being an easy stretching class for adult beginners. Some time later I was asked to stretch as far as I could into the splits. Um… was I hearing correctly? The teacher has every confidence that I will achieve it one day! She told me the first day after a ballet class is the worst- she wasn’t wrong!!!
There were tears the next day- such fatigue that I thought that I would be wiped out for more than a few days. I planned to quit but I recalled that ballet was my preparation to be strong for Irish dance which will see me shred the stubborn pounds in very little time and make me smile because I love it so much! My husband encouraged me to return to ballet next week and so did a few friends. This surprised me enough to listen – often people talk me out of difficult things because I set myself very lofty goals! I will need to scale back the time I spend on the dance floor to start with, but now is not the time to quit!
Yesterday I went to a dance wear place and bought some canvas ballet slippers- the shop assistant who is a dance teacher informed me that they breathe better and don’t fit so tightly as the leather ones when the hot weather comes. Maybe I will be able to feel my toes more this week without tingling; a well-fitted shoe is important ! Learning all those French dance terms and challenging myself to move gracefully, I couldn’t walk away. This is going to take time and for as long as I can, I am going to keep at it.
I’m lying in a tent, less than an hour from home. I can hear waves crashing in the distance and I remember the wonderful afternoon we had, sculpting the sand and dipping our toes in the water. A few waves took me by surprise so I ended up with jeans that were sandy and wet halfway up to the knee!
An ibis wandered in the carpark soon after we arrived and greeted us on return from the beach. After a simple dinner of homemade souvlakis the kids and I played the McDonald’s version of Monopoly. That was the best Happy Meal toy my daughter has had I think!
In the eucalypts overhead, we watched a ringtail possum leap from one branch to another. This is why I give up my comfy bed and reliable sleep. Nothing beats being out in nature.
I recall a camping trip in my late 20s to Lake Elizabeth, in the Otways. There were glow worms in the mud at the start of the walk and we awoke one morning to find a sizeable koala climbing up a tree just a couple of metres from the tent.
I generally find it hard to sleep while camping but now that all the families are asleep or quiet, it is beautiful to tune in to the night soundscape. I’m reminiscing about the camp fires and friends who surrounded them over a decade ago. I can still picture the laughter and eating too many roasted marshmallows. I’m also dreaming of some new camping experiences with some wonderful families we know. Now the kids are getting older and we have no travel restrictions, the possibilities are opening up!
What are some of your favourite camping experiences? I would love to hear about them in the comments, or leave a link to a blog post you have written about it.
A few weeks ago I saw a little pink flier in letterbox, no bigger than my hand, and I decided to make inquiries. Adult ballet, available even for beginners, just 7 minutes from my house! The time slots will work in with the children and so I am starting in a fortnight. I have had an interest in dance for most of my life and over a decade ago I first had the idea of beginner ballet.
The best part of all, was that somehow the classes are very affordable and my physiotherapist thinks they will be great preparation for Irish dance in terms of strength and flexibility. Also, doing stretches aids circulation, and having been sedentary a lot of the time due to many respiratory illnesses this year, this is a huge benefit.
For those of you who, like me, have had limitations which prevent you from doing the exercise that you love, I encourage you to start small, rather that dive in to something too challenging and risk injury (which was my old way of doing things!). It’s okay for fitness and weight-loss to take time- the important thing is to make a small positive change rather than none at all.
I may feel like an elephant wearing stilettos at first (!) but I have my eye on the prize- the ability to dance gracefully would be such a fun way to keep fit. Look out for the follow up blog post in a few weeks- I will let you know how it goes!
She hath wings 
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