Winter Concert

Standing there under warm lights,

Violin raised and bow drawn,

I found you in that sea of faces

At sweet, innocent, fifteen.

I’d never seen you through that lens

And perhaps never will again-

A thrill not equalled on that stage-

Proud moment standing still.

As I played, you did not know

The ballad became my theme-

“I’d die for you”, the test;

The music still reprises.

Long gone, but not forgotten-

It hurt because I loved;

Too close to your warmth, I fell-

Wings fairly crumpled.

Although you said goodbye,

I know I’ll see your face again-

(I hope the one I played for,

Not the fool you became!)

A brother you’ll be, at best,

Still I’ll save a spot for you

When I take the stage last time,

May my song not be in vain!

©️ M.R.P. 12.2.20

Being Present

What a busy start to the school year- I had already returned to work the week prior to when my son returned. My almost 3- year-old daughter has been super clingy and my son has been struggling to fall asleep till late- so much in his mind. I have had a tendency to brush off their neediness, so drained of mental energy myself. Many times I had wished for some silence to process my thoughts but stress rose in the constant clamour. Then came a bit of a dollar-dropping moment.

This intense mum season will get quieter, but so will the requests to play with me or for me to listen to another story about Mr B’s Minecraft hobby or to decipher some cutesy phrase that Miss A is trying to compose. The time is now! My agenda needs to move over so that my kids feel loved. I need to take time out for myself, but I need to shower my kids with a whole lot of love also. I needn’t be half present- if I’m there, I need to be all in. They know when I’m not really connected. They also learn what I do, more than what I say or write in a birthday card.

Are you present with your loved ones when you visit them or have meals with them? Do you count down the hours to solitude or are you grateful that somebody needs you? What about those annoying relatives- have you found a way to let them into your heart? It takes work sometimes, but I figure something good will come of it, in being hospitable to others.

Tick of Approval

I read the first draft to my son and he burst into tears, indignant and unappreciative. Apparently the incorporation of his lost bedtime toys was against the law and I hadn’t written in the style of the author at all. Well then! It was back to the drawing board and I was so disappointed at his reaction, I almost took the “Like it or lump it” response! He was away at his grandparents’ place over the weekend and I missed him enough to consider rewriting my story.

This time, I kept it short and sweet. I made sure I ended the story in the way he originally requested (though I apparently missed out one detail where all the other wild rabbits come to live with the boy and Velveteen rabbit!!!). It was worth the smiles at bedtime- just minutes before, he had been roaring at his dad over some perceived injustice. Such a volatile little boy at times but I was pleased to have his tick of approval as I said goodnight. Now almost four years since he lost his bedtime toys on the Spirit of Tasmania, taking them out of the packed bag and tucking them into bed without telling us (!), he still has a special place in his heart for cats and rabbits!

And So Begins Another Chapter

It has been weeks since I have had time to write or even think very much. Holidays are good in the sense that I see the children more, but it is hard work having little rest and them still so young. Today I was fortunate to have a few hours to myself while hubby took some leave and I found it hard to be still and to not have to have a sense that I was achieving something in that time. I enjoyed writing a small letter to a friend overseas, took a stroll around a lake at a local park and then returned there to craft a short writing piece that my son has requested for months. A little sequel to the Velveteen Rabbit story – one in which the ending is changed. It’s not quite finished but I look forward to presenting it to him with some sketches done by a friend if I can. I think I will revisit that little spot by the mini lake whenever I need a tranquil place – it’s hard for me to find places to inspire creativity without feeling like I must drive a long distance.

Tomorrow begins another chapter in my life – I return to work as a learning support assistant, this time, with my daughter in long daycare. I have eased her into a longer stay for the past two sessions, but this will be breakfast until almost dinner time. She was clingy tonight, wanting someone to lie down with her and settle her. She asked myself, hubby and even her 8 year old brother. I felt so sad that I had an appointment and couldn’t stay. She will do so much growing up this year, even as I seek to make some inroads in my own personal development. Already, she expresses herself quite well in sentences and gets indignant over things. It’s cute! She breaks into song or dance frequently and I do hope she spreads that joy wherever she goes. My son is changing from small boy to that inbetween stage – not quite pubescent but growing up ever so fast. I feel a lump in my throat as I know the years will go quickly now.

I must away for now but will write more as it comes. Till then, stay well and keep your writing flowing!