I have enjoyed writing since I was a little girl. Being an avid reader from my early years, I took a particular interest in poetry, penning rhyme and freeform verse as a child as well as journalling later on. I enjoy being out in nature, singing, cooking and gardening, just to name a few hobbies. I like animals and listening to music, dancing when nobody is watching and paper craft. I would love to travel the world but for now, I go in my dreams, appreciating other peoples’ photographs. If I could write a whole book I would, but for now, I share little snippets of my writing and hope that it encourages other people.
Last night, my husband moved the PC to the lounge and I instantly regained my desire to write again. Now I’m finally here! I spent hours and hours tidying the house the past day with my little girl AJ home sick, but now it is my time to take that moment and put my stamp on the last minutes of Thursday.
What a day! Hubby was working almost non-stop in the study (which is actually E-man’s old bedroom, soon to become a shared space; I’ve had enough of kids awake till 9.30/10pm in bunks!). I told myself that the kids would be asleep soon and I could have a night to wind down after more than 8 hours on my feet. Instead, 3 year old AJ kept her big brother awake and then when she finally tried to fall asleep, her cough sounded almost croupy. I had to find a way to help her stay on the propped up pillows.
Hubby will be squeezing in about 4.5 hours sleep then doing a webinar 2am-9am to fit in with USA time. E-man told me his daddy could have gone to USA in person to do the training if it weren’t for COVID. I announced to hubby, “You’re not meeting Minnie Mouse before AJ does!” with a twinkle and defiance in my eyes! He’s not into Disney all that much – he’d rather photograph a mountain, but it would be awesome to take AJ and E-man there. Even just to get on a plane – they were to take their first plane ride just a short time after the state borders closed in Australia and I was going to be with my family for my birthday.
Since E-man couldn’t fall asleep with all the coughing tonight, I moved him into my side of the bed about 9.15pm, making him promise he wouldn’t kick his dad! It’s going to be like the children’s rhyme – “There were 10 in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over…” – I’m going to attempt to fall asleep on the couch that is too small for me then creep into hubby’s side of the bed when he vacates it, attempting not to wake E-man.
As I have struggled being home for the past 3 days, I have been reminded of the COVID-19 restrictions and how our lives have been changed for the forseeable future. Waiting for my daughter’s COVID-19 test results has made me understand firsthand, the fear of not knowing what the next few weeks will hold. I have to try to find the silver lining in all of this, and I think I have. Staying home makes you face so many things. That weightloss never attempted, the garden never tended and the clutter piling high. The friendships barely nurtured, the projects never started and the kids growing up without many special memories of family time. However long the days, however inconvenient these times are, we are being stretched and irreversably altered for a reason.
I’ve tried all week to watch a movie on Netflix but I just couldn’t settle and concentrate. At first I obsessively checked the Coronavirus death/case counts for the countries mentioned, studying the graphs, trying to predict what would happen next, awake past midnight and getting more anxious by the minute. Then I began to worship. It was the only thing that made sense in the chaos. I did a bit of panic buying then I realised that even the most prepared person would eventually run out of fresh produce and other necessities. People around me were struggling and I wasn’t helping. This wasn’t what I was created to do.
I started praying and I remembered what I used to do before life got hard, though it was still a challenge. I used to pour out my heart on paper, sharing from my heart, bold enough to lay it bare, so that others could benefit from my journey. Sometimes I don’t feel like writing. Other times I have something to say but I get distracted by other menial tasks or pointless time-wasting pursuits. Yet for some people on this earth, time will be a luxury as they fight for their lives. We cannot bring back yesterday and do it better but we can do today well.
So I’m going to write. I’m not going to hold back- I’m not going to hide my faith either, so if it’s not your cup of tea, that’s ok. I must, however, open my mouth and praise my Maker in the years I am given. From the time I could speak I sang songs to God and this past week, as I saw others making videos to encourage others to lift up their praise to God, I was strengthened in my spirit. This is not a battle we are facing alone. Just like in 2 Chronicles 20, God is fighting for us. We need to praise and trust Him with child-like faith, knowing that He sees the end from the beginning, He cares and He has gone before us.
A new life waits to come into the world
And the mother is filled with joy
As she feels the movement of life within her;
A beautiful girl or boy.
She doesn’t know who her child will resemble
And his character is not yet revealed,
Yet within her maternal heart, she finds,
A promise of a future sealed.
A mother stands and watches her child
As he clasps the rung of a chair
Determined, he takes some wobbly steps
When he sees her loving stare.
Soon he tires of the effort
But he’ll try again before too long,
And he has been caught up into her arms
Gentle, yet safe and strong.
Her little girl gives a chrysanthemum white,
A token for love that glows,
And it seems that her mummy could be no happier
To receive one hundred of those.
Her mother loves all that God has made
And this, to her daughter, makes known;
That she’ll love her just as much as now
When all the years have flown.
Throughout the good and bad times
She feels their joy and pain
And she gives them hope and support
Which helps them find their feet again.
And when there’s encouragement to give-
Each child, precious and unique;
She will do her best to give
The comfort that they seek.
Years pass by so quickly
And her children become aware
That their mother is not infallible
Nor will she always be there;
But a mother’s care continues on
Long after her children are grown –
And they will be touched for the rest of their lives
By the love that their mother has shown.
How could You have stood there,
Without a word to say,
As they jeered and mocked and bound You up
Leading You away.
I would have had a thousand words
To silence all their lies,
But every word You didn’t say
Was spoken through Your eyes;
For while they made a fool of You,
And whipped You without cause,
Your heart was full of love for them –
Their sins became Your sores.
They led You through the temple courts
And brought You before the crowd –
People just like me were there,
Shouting out aloud.
And not one spoke at Your defence,
Though You had done no wrong;
They wanted someone else released
And You did not have long.
In just a little while, You were flogged some more –
Beaten to the ground;
Flogged and battered till You were crushed,
Yet no sin in You was found.
On and on they led You through
The streets where You had spread your fame –
They made You carry a heavy cross
Though You were not to blame.
The journey was long and Your strength had waned
As You drew near to the place,
So they chose a man to share Your load –
Your burden, to embrace;
But none could imagine the agony You felt
Nor the pain of each new blow –
The torment as each nail drove through Your flesh
I will never know.
They hoisted You up for all to see
And stripped Your dignity bare;
Your enemies and friends together, looked on,
As they crucified You there.
© M.R.P 2004